The Scare School staff consists of Alder and Dash (headmaster...s), Hedy Hopper (History teacher), Professor Thurdigree Burns (science teacher), the cafeteria thing (lunch lady), Maddog McSneer (guard of portal thing person), Cappy and Beaky (pirate who flies to and from Deedstown and his parrot guide), the nurse (a Medusa-like thing), gargoyles, and Frankengymteacher (gym teacher/coach). Alder and Dash is/are a tentacled thing with one body and two heads. They are cowardly and come up with (and fail at) many evil plans. Hedy is a head in a crystal ball. She has levitation powers and a crush on Frankengymteacher. Professor Burns is a large red dragon. He is sometimes temperamental and sometimes gets facts wrong, especially facts about fleshies, thinking that sweat is called scare juice and comes from tubes powered by a monkey in fleshies' stomachs. The cafeteria thing is a large purple something who serves food to the students of Scare School. She has tentacles. Maddog is a green skeleton ghost thing who is almost always asleep. He is supposed to be guarding the portal to and from Deedstown. He used to be a professional fleshie scarer. Cappy has patches over both eyes and relies on Beaky to giude him while he flies his ship (Yes, I said FLIES his ship.) to and from Deedstown. The nurse resembles Medusa and she is feared by all because of her harsh ways of healing people. Frankengymteacher is a replica of Frankenstein's monster. He is very strong and has a crush on Hedy.